The Truth About Farming and Marriage: What We’ve Learned in the Weeds

Honest reflections on farming and marriage—how love, grit, and teamwork survive long days, crop chaos, and the wild beauty of farm life.

by Chad Steiner

Loyalty, Love, and the Long Game

When we said our vows 20 years ago, we didn’t yet know the weight of what we were building. Not just a marriage, or a family, but a business. A farm. A winery. And three growing boys to boot.

Loyalty has meant more than staying together. It’s meant sticking it out on days when we’re both too tired to talk. Showing up for the 6 a.m. sheep check and the 11 p.m. irrigation shut-off (yes, we can use tech to do this now but not yet on the Farm.). Pivoting again and again when plans crumble—and still making dinner. Granted some days – we may be coming in to eat dinner at 9:00 we treasure dinners as a family.

We are in it. Not just together, but deep in it. Because marriage and farming both test your limits, your patience, and your why.

Caught in the Work

There are seasons when it feels like we’re working “in” the business more than “on” the business. Too much on our plate. Too many directions at once. And sometimes, yes, we lose track of each other.

Three kids. A farm. A wine brand. A thousand decisions a week.

We’ve learned the danger of getting too task-focused—of letting the business overshadow the relationship that started it all. But we’ve also seen how the work, the sweat, the dreaming together—it binds us. It keeps us going, it gives us hope, and it gives us grounded.

Wine Is the Focus

Through it all, wine has remained a common thread. It’s our craft, our joy, our shared passion. It reminds us to slow down. To taste. To gather. To celebrate.

We might be cleaning out tanks while wrangling a bedtime routine, but it still feels like us. Still feels like something we chose—and continue to choose.

A Tangible Life

The farm is a real test. It exposes everything: the cracks, the chaos, the growth.

But it’s also deeply grounding. The views at sunrise. The hands in the soil. The progress you can measure in vines and lambs and satisfied guests.

It’s real. Tangibly, undeniably real.

And while sometimes we feel like we’re the ones holding the whole operation together, we’ve also realized: this place, this life, it often holds us together.

Story Moment: The Soccer Field

One Saturday was so full we barely had time to breathe—farm tours, a windy day that threatened our young pumpkin patch, and overlapping soccer schedules. We were tag-teaming like pros. Or so we thought.

Until we got a text from another parent: “Hey, I think you left your kid at the soccer field.”  Life on our valley is magical.  The community truly wraps around each other and looks after one another. We dreamed of living here when we were first married and so glad we took this leap of faith to make it happen. The shuffle of family life with the boys going in different directions with sports and school activities and a business to operate keeps us humbled. So many families are familiar with this juggling act. It takes a village, and we are glad to be part of this village.

Cue the scramble, the guilt, the laughter that only comes once you’ve made it through. We picked him up—all was well—and as we finally sat down that night, we looked at each other and said, “We probably should’ve written a better playbook for today.”

It’s not always graceful. But it’s real. And we keep showing up.

Growing Something That Lasts

Marriage on the farm isn’t tidy and some days Jeana says it’s like we’re living in a barn. It’s muddy, loud, humbling, and beautiful. It requires the same things our crops do: good soil, steady tending, and belief that growth will come.

There are still days we miss the mark. But we also keep showing up. Because love, like land, is worth cultivating.

Since starting our farm in 2018, we’ve had to face our relationship head-on. Gone are the days of corporate moves and long commutes—we’re in the dirt now, shoulder to shoulder. And through it all, I’ve grown to love, care for, and appreciate Jeana more deeply than I ever thought possible. This farm has tested us, yes. But it’s also forged something unshakable. Our passion for what we’ve created together has only grown—and so have we.

Call to Action

Have your own version of a “forgotten at soccer” moment? We’d love to hear it. Or better yet, come visit us and share a glass of wine. We promise to do a head count before you leave.

Cheers,